At long last! I have waited so long for this, and I’m actually very surprised it took this long! After thirty entries, in fact, on the thirty-first entry, I finally received my first official anonymous hate mail! I am so excited I can hardly manage my joy! In fact, it’s spilling out all over the place! Now it’s dancing on the countertop and spinning on the armrest and swinging from my uvula…oh, it’s so delectably peachy! It is so smooth and fragrant! Before I save you the trouble of looking up the comment, I want to pause a moment for dramatic purposes…
It was for the previous entry, the one concerning my sick grandfather and my shafted birthday. I thought that this was my third most polite and humane entry out of all of them so far. To sum it all up, it was about my sick grandfather, a brief note that I spent a good share of the evening dealing with that, and then my shaftation experience as far as birthday scenarios go. Now let me cite you the comment, or as I really like to call it, the hate mail.
From: Anonymous.
“sounds like you are a spoiled brat”
Besides this person’s obvious lack of a shift key, I give them credit; it is almost a complete sentence. Good job! Let me get this straight Anony, I am a spoiled brat? Either you are calling me a small and moldy pork sausage, or you are just being redundant. Usually the term brat, when used on children, refers to a spoiled child. I guess you were just trying to emphasis your point, correct? You are so creative!
As for your comment, it’s going on the fridge. Maybe I will even put a pumpkin sticker next to it! Besides, I am sure that you have never complained about anything before. You have always been happy with whatever stream of toxins that life has had to spray at you. Good for you! My little underachiever! So cute!
I’ve had some other issues with the comments people leave me. First of all, I prefer if you keep them relevant to the topic if they are going to be inquisitive. If you want to say hi, or commit your life to me, go for it. Just don’t start spouting ice tea about all your petty life dreams and daily issues. If you have a question, or a comment that pertains to the entry, by all means, let me know! Oh, and try and read the whole entry before you comment. That helps. I know, it’s tough, with all those words and stuff.
One last thing, don’t make comments about other people in here, that’s just plain rude. I am completely against the forces of rudeness. I understand few of you can type properly, form complete sentences in your head, and Quad forbid, use proper punctuation and capitals when appropriate, so you should try getting some sort of high school education first. Beyond that though, Happy Thanksgiving, and prepare yourselves for the holiday shopping season!