Today was the Norwich High School Graduation. Brother Assface was in it today, celebrating this milestone, turning the tassel to accept his entry into a bold new world. He sat up front, wearing a brighter, more gold tassel than others, dressed in his Y2K compliant purple gown. He was ranked somewhere in the top ten of his 130 or so classmates. He was a leading member in the honor society, and kept a 90% or higher average on his regents’ exams. Unfortunately, he is the dumbest little shit I’ve ever met.
Example you ask?
He scrawled his victory on the windows of our Ford Focus, the one I drive to work, the one I pick up friends in, the one I use to get away from this house. This, understandably, is perfectly okay. He has now passed through the tight, oily bowels of high school, and wishes to lick his giddy little pride to the brim of its worth. The problem, however, is that in big, bold letters in purple and white, he scribed with great pride, “GIT ‘ER DONE.” This of course, is one of the more recent signs of his condition. On that note, I would also like to announce the following.
“I swear to the formulas and the physics that unify everything in the known universe, if anyone ever udders ‘Git er done’ in my presence ever again, I will rip your organs out one by one through the orifice of my choosing.”
~Signed and sealed with the spade of a shovel, Lynk
This just goes to show, you can be book smart, but wrapped around all that useless regurgitating of responses found in the appendix of the teacher’s answer book, you could be the world’s most blown out light bulb.
On another note, I saw that twofaced conniving maxi-pad’s new fiancé. He’s a jock gorilla. He might be able to take me down in one hit, but if I asked him to name all the months of the year, he would probably poop his face. Congratulations, girl. You are as shallow as a wet piece of toilet paper. I wish the two of you luck, and if you dare procreate, eat them, or feed them to something that doesn’t care about the food it eats, like a large bon fire. I don’t want my kids dealing with your crap too.
Wow. I didn’t know you had a livejournal! I can’t believe your brother has graduated, he seems too young man! And who, exactly, might I inquire, is the, as you put it, “maxi-pad”? 🙂 Keep in touch, I’ll be in Norwich this upcoming weekend!!
~Patti